i am seriously a sad sad sad sad girl.
sang at` @ 10:55 AMSunday, July 09, 2006
i can hardly keep my concentration, can hardly breakfree from this cycle of deprivation.
deprived of wad you may ask?
deprived of the basic enjoyment/luxury - REST.
i know as im typing this entry, im actually resting or rather its eating into my break time. but no, when i mean rest, i mean not having to wake up feeling uneasy or not typing this entry feeling guilty (coz i aint studying).not having ur heart palpitating so fast due to stress.
in one of the past entries, i wrote something abt this whole studying and mugging my ass away shit that ive been struggling with. i wrote abt how much i didnt understand wads the use of being in jc, taking geog,econs,maths,chem. i was wondering even if the sin cos tan and the series of formulas is of any use when i go into the workforce. and worse, geog. how does the memorising of ENGLAND's regeneration schemes & BRITAIN'S housing policies benefit me?
everyday, i hear teachers/tutors having the slogan ' TEACH LESS LEARN MORE' hanging at their lips. i sometimes wonder if they understand whats the actual meaning behind it. Mr tay, my maths tutor commented on sat that this whole education system is turning us (the new generation) into robots.
and i cant agree more.
whatever's with independence,creativity, innovation?
i dont think the authorities know exactly what damage they are causing us.
ive always been finding motivations to work hard which even explains why ppl say im hardworking. in sec 1-2 ; i studied hard to prove my parents wrong. in sec3-4 ; i wanted to prove to everyone (teachers&parents) tt rs dosent need to always affect studies (depending if u can handle it) and now in jc. im finding myself caught in the same situation. trying hard to find the same motivation and repeating the whole process of studying & locking myself behind doors and having myself surrounded by books & more books. and for this Mid yr,my motivation is THE WORK EXPERIENCE PROG.
im mugging this hard not even if i'll get chosen because there are 30% of scholars in my sch who'll definitely be at an advantage. so sometimes, i feel like giving up, feel like taking a break. its sinful, its bad, but how long can i last this way?
OK, just bare with my rantings pls!
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